Monday, April 18, 2011

Bowing to the King

We've been here 4 weeks tomorrow. Wow. In some ways it feels much longer than that. We arrived with a sick 3 year old; Timmy and I fell sick shortly after. It's been a long time since I've been that sick. I was shocked when I felt well enough to see myself in the mirror; I hadn't realized I'd lost so much weight (which wasn't a good thing since I'd lost weight a few weeks previously from another illness). The first week and a half of our time in the U.S. I left the house all of one day. All that to say, our transition was a bit rough. Many times during the sickness I was tempted to lose hope. Had God dropped us here with no home and just left us? Where was He in all of this? And I fought Him internally. I didn't want to submit to Him and what He was allowing in our lives. But each time He restored my hope and revealed to me just how much I want everything to "go my way."

Before we left the D.R., I felt slightly concerned with our lack of future stability. We had no car, no "home", and no job awaiting us (of our own, that is). When we arrived part of me thought everything would "fall together." This is another thing I've fought. My desire was to be in Indiana by now. With a home. And a job. And God keeps reminding me that His ways are not mine. And are far greater than mine. But the wonderful thing about these reminders are that they are never condemning. They are the loving nudges of a caring Father, continually reminding me to come back to Him and trust in Him. Through scripture and words of encouragement from others He directs me to submit to His plan. And I think back to so many other times when I've fought God in an area and ended up so thankful that He had his way and I didn't have mine. And so I know that His plan will be better than mine, because it always is!

Yesterday the pastor at our church talked about bowing to the humble King. When Jesus rode in on a humble donkey that Palm Sunday He declared Himself the King prophesied in the Old Testament. But most of the people's view was too narrow- they only imagined a King that would free them from Roman rule. And when he died less than a week later their hopes were crushed. Things hadn't gone how they'd expected and desired. And I don't know, but I wonder if some of the disciples "fought" God. And I'm almost certain that all of them had questions- hundreds of questions. Until that third day when Christ conquered sin and the grave. Because He did not come to break the chains of the Romans. He came to break the chains of sin itself, to free us from guilt, condemnation, and our own sinfulness. Praise the LORD! How small my view is, wondering why I need to wait when God knows what He is doing. His timing is good. My view is so small!
Help me to bow to you daily, Lord, and to remember that You see the big picture and have a plan for us! Amen!
"'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.'" -Jeremiah 29:11

More updates to come...

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