Friday, May 13, 2011

Healing, Part II

As I mentioned in a previous post, Daniel and I both feel that this "limbo" stage is to be a time of healing. As a result, I've focused on healing in our lives. However, I fell into the trap of over-focusing on the physical healing, which led to stress, anxiety, and weariness. Because of our digestive issues coming back from the D.R., we've cut out certain foods. It took a while to figure out how to cook to our diet when I was still trying to figure out how to cook in the U.S. And far too often I found my thoughts centering about what foods I could make or what ideas I had that might "fix us." And then along with this I've struggled with my neck and back pain. However, the more I focused on trying to control my external healing, the more I ignored the internal healing, and the more weary I became.
And then a few weeks ago I went to a women's bible study (there were only two left of the year, but I wanted to take advantage of any "women" time I could get). I was put in a small group and we proceeded to watch the last session of a Beth Moore study. It was exactly what I needed to hear. This stuck out to me the most- we should never be hindered by fear and never forget the tendency to expend energy on the "lesser battle" (as opposed to fighting for our marriages, families, children, etc.). I realized that I'd been fighting so hard for physical health, that I was expending all my energy on that and leaving none for what is really important! This was the beginning of a change in focus.
I attended the last bible study meeting (a time of fellowship, eating, and large group sharing). I felt touched and amazed as I heard different women's testimonies of the way God had moved in their lives this past year. The theme of the year, "On the move" fit well with our place in life. At one point, they invited anyone who wanted to share to do so with the whole group (over 60 women). I felt God gently tugging at my heart and found myself sharing in front of the entire room! I shared with them the transition from the D.R. and the dream Daniel had, how God has put us in a place of brokenness and healing, and how God continues to show us that
He is our goal- not a future home or job, not even physical health.
God continues to remind me more and more to cling to Him.
So that is what we are focusing on right now- our spiritual healing- drawing close to Him, making Him our desire, and allowing Him to change us.

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